in secret we met, in silence i grieve

the ultimate road trip.

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:44:08 GMT

So i've been reading a bunch of entries from like, freshman year and I used to have a lot of fun!!

This year has been terrible. I was so looking forward to it and it's definitely been the worst of my four years at college. I'm ready to graduate and end this chapter in my life.

Speaking of graduating, I've been looking for jobs all break and found some good ones. I gotta start sending out my resume and such. It's nerve racking...but exciting.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 21:50:04 GMT

updating via my iPod touch.

I had a date with the boy on Friday. It was awesome! But I don't wanna get my hopes up.

:/

bleh

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:01:42 GMT

So I texted the boy. I did it yesterday and still haven't heard back from him, which means i probably won't.

Am I surprised? not at all. I can't catch a break with anything recently.

He was a smoker anyway, which probably would have annoyed me in the long run.

I love how i try and make light of shitty situations when deep down, it fucking kills me.

oh well.

dreams mean nothing!

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 04:48:27 GMT

ugh, now i'm just totally psyching myself out.

I'm never gonna be able to call. :(

weightless

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:34:23 GMT

so, last semester I had astronomy with a really cute boy. We always talked and said we'd hang out sometime, but we never did. I haven't seen or talked to him since December and last night i got the urge to call him. I held back, mostly because it was about 5am. I was thinking about calling him this week sometime. But, I'm such a girl and I have no balls.

but i don't want to miss out on another opportunity. :/

insert image embed media

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 06:27:09 GMT

I'm smitten...and it sucks.

especially when I know nothing is gonna come of it.

ugh... :(

just, super frustrating.

I'll slap you off that barstool

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 08:25:27 GMT

So...it's 3am. I have a bad habit of sleeping when I'm tired, and today that meant from 6pm-10pm. It was a terrible idea and I'm never gonna be able to go to bed, or wake up for class at 9:25 tomorrow morning.

I've been feeling nostalgic recently since I just got back into writing here. I've been reading stuff from like, 5 years ago about high school drama, colorguard and all that good stuff (although high school drama = colorguard, haha) But I'm like, when did I grow up? I'm busy getting my resume together and looking for jobs and getting out in the real world. When did this happen? It felt like just yesterday the only thing I had to worry about was what time I had to be at school on saturday for a colorguard competition. It's just all hit me so fast...and i don't think I'm ready for it quite yet.

And...it's valentine's day. For the second year in a row, i get to sit at home and be miserable. I think I'm buying a new cell phone, though...so that should be exciting. It's days like this when I just really miss having someone. I don't know why the past year has been so hard for me relationship wise. I think I meet someone, then end up getting my heart broken by just another asshole. Everyone will tell me "it's jersey boys, for ya" but i have a feeling that it's all boys.

Speaking of boys, my sister and her boyfriend broke up after over four years of being together. It's really been getting to me for lots of reasons. I love my sister to death and seeing her upset is heartbreaking. She called me when it happened and I felt like there was nothing that i could do for her. It's hard to see people you love so upset and not be able to really do anything about it. I know she'll be fine though, she's definitely one of the strongest girls i know. Also, they were together for four years...after four years, how do you decide to end things? I guess it just doesn't give me much hope for the future knowing that after so long, things can still go to shit. Her boyfriend and I were really close too...i considered him my brother since i never had one. I know we'll still talk, but it just won't be the same. I feel like I kinda lost something too.

wow...i definitely forgot how therapeutic it is to write in this thing.

overwhelming proof

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:00:06 GMT

guys are assholes.

even the nice ones.

jk polysource!

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 20:34:52 GMT

I've totally been cheating on LJ with facebook...but I'm back!

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 07:40:25 GMT

I'm scared. :/

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 05:09:54 GMT

as most things in my life go...i have a bad feeling about this... :(

Fri, 11 May 2007 20:47:48 GMT

now that the summer is officially here...i can give a detailed update sometime relatively soon about the past couple of months.

...it was a rough semester.

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 04:35:13 GMT

UGH! what the fuck? people need to learn how to stop playing with other people's emotions.

this hurts.

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 22:57:30 GMT

oh. my. god.
cutest thing EVER!

i hate this full sail ad

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 05:09:40 GMT

i like a boy.

and i think he likes me too.

and we hung out til 4:30 in the morning last night.

and we cuddled.

:)

Thanks Cindy!

contrary to popular belief...

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 02:09:40 GMT

So in the past few days i've been hearing nothing but things about how i could have any guy that i want, and how everyone thinks that there's never been a guy that i've wanted and haven't got.

but that's really not the case. It's happened...too many times.

I don't want it to happen this time.

and i don't know what to do to ensure that it doesn't.

I feel hopeless and i don't like it. :(

blargh.

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 05:00:48 GMT

i called Joey tonight. :)

UK won. :)

working a double tomorrow. :(

working on sunday. :(

seeing joey after work sunday?!? :)

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 20:30:36 GMT

I've been so confused recently.

Then Cindy had to go and confuse me more!!

Maybe i'll give a detailed update one of these days. Oh, well.

imagine if...

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 08:10:01 GMT

haven't posted pictures in forever!!
last night was so much fun!! <3
<3 taking a nap against a door
<3 imaginiff
<3 breakin out the wrestling moves
<3 freakin out over a toothbrush

me and dave

me and rosie...love this pic!

me and jason

me and marc :)

me and susan...she <3's me.

group shot. <3 them!

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 23:49:39 GMT

For some reason, I've been thinking an awful lot about a certain someone recently. And honestly, I don't know why. It's weird.

...wondering if i should call him. But I know I'd call him for the absolute wrong reason.

Anyway...funny moment between me and Geiger tonight. I texted him to tell him to come visit me in Bozorth 29 while I was working. As soon as it sent, I got one from him saying "meet me for dinner in 25 minutes." It was really weird so I sent him one saying, "wow, that was weird!!" and as soon as that one sent, I got one from him saying, "wow, that was weird!" I'm still laughing about it. I don't care what anyone thinks about him...he and I have lots of fun together!!

Lots going on in my head recently...sucks.

Boys will be boys

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 19:15:55 GMT

last night was way too much fun.

hung out at Dave's townhouse with Rosie, Susan, John, Jason, Jared, Dave and Marc. Jared and Susan left pretty early and the rest of us were there until about 4:45 in the morning just hanging out and talking about the most random things ever. If you can think of it, we probably talked about it.

I need more nights like those in my life.

Still don't really know what's going on with a certain someone. we'll see what happens i guess.

gotta finish getting ready for work.

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 21:23:01 GMT

work was a good time this afternoon.

My friend Kim who's 21 is going on a first date with this guy tonight who's 32! I got mildly jealous!

I miss first dates!! Aaaand...i wish i was dating a 32 year old!! If me and Steve break up, i'm going for someone older, i've decided. And my dad said he'd be cool with it! haha.

I think i caught that stomach virus that's been going around. :(

time to watch some more ANTM!

hey, there you are!

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 07:33:34 GMT

I've been in this position before, and everything turned out for the better.
This time will be no different.

So I've decided that my new years resoultion is to put more trust in people and to think about the situations presented to me before i react either positively or negatively to them. :)

going into the city tomorrow with laur and dev. Going to Jims for lunch and to Pearl! Then home to get ready for the Bonefish holiday party with my baby! Hopefully all the people that i miss from Bonefish will be there!!

Work's been good. Well...the weekends are good. :)

ask casey how she feels about cereal

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 22:13:29 GMT

Break has been ok so far.

I worked all weekend...including christmas eve and it sucked that i missed the family party. :(

Steve and I had a rough friday night. Things are ok now, but it's a shame it had to get as bad as it did for things to get better. I love him so much and I'm so thankful that i have a guy like him in my life to treat me like a princess and be everything that i need him to be! :)

After my horrible friday night, Casey and Andrew managed to cheer me up at work hardcore on Saturday. if not for them, i don't know what i would have done! And then my baby came into terra nova and surprised me. :) That was the point i knew he was genuinely sorry! :)

I got a Merry Christmas hug and kiss from Andrew when we left work on sunday night. :)

Christmas was good. :) lots of presents!!

So i got off work on new years eve. Me and steve were planning on going to Lou's girlfriends house in central jersey, but i think now we're just planning on staying home, maybe getting a bottle of wine and hanging out with the fam, laur and dev, which i'm not complaining about.

For some reason the rowan website sucks, it keeps saying the website could not be found. All i want to do is get on and check my grades and send an email to keith brand!!!! ARGGHH!

alright, time to eat dinner and get ready to go out!

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 14:15:39 GMT

it's bad when it's december 12th...and for the next 9 days, the temperature's gonna be in the mid to upper 50's.

what the hell is going on?! haha!