Current mood:	nostalgic
Current music:	Queen - Somebody to Love

I'll slap you off that barstool
So...it's 3am. I have a bad habit of sleeping when I'm tired, and today that meant from 6pm-10pm. It was a terrible idea and I'm never gonna be able to go to bed, or wake up for class at 9:25 tomorrow morning.

I've been feeling nostalgic recently since I just got back into writing here. I've been reading stuff from like, 5 years ago about high school drama, colorguard and all that good stuff (although high school drama = colorguard, haha) But I'm like, when did I grow up? I'm busy getting my resume together and looking for jobs and getting out in the real world. When did this happen? It felt like just yesterday the only thing I had to worry about was what time I had to be at school on saturday for a colorguard competition. It's just all hit me so fast...and i don't think I'm ready for it quite yet.

And...it's valentine's day. For the second year in a row, i get to sit at home and be miserable. I think I'm buying a new cell phone, though...so that should be exciting. It's days like this when I just really miss having someone. I don't know why the past year has been so hard for me relationship wise. I think I meet someone, then end up getting my heart broken by just another asshole. Everyone will tell me "it's jersey boys, for ya" but i have a feeling that it's all boys.

Speaking of boys, my sister and her boyfriend broke up after over four years of being together. It's really been getting to me for lots of reasons. I love my sister to death and seeing her upset is heartbreaking. She called me when it happened and I felt like there was nothing that i could do for her. It's hard to see people you love so upset and not be able to really do anything about it. I know she'll be fine though, she's definitely one of the strongest girls i know. Also, they were together for four years...after four years, how do you decide to end things? I guess it just doesn't give me much hope for the future knowing that after so long, things can still go to shit. Her boyfriend and I were really close too...i considered him my brother since i never had one. I know we'll still talk, but it just won't be the same. I feel like I kinda lost something too.

wow...i definitely forgot how therapeutic it is to write in this thing.